Mr Woodpecker and I finally (in December) came up with our wedding plan: a destination wedding in Cancun. It fit my idea of having to not plan and Mr Woodpecker really wants to go back since he had an enjoyable experience there. Best of all: if we stayed at the hotel for 3 days, they’d pay for a basic ceremony.
It all seemed perfect, until my side of the family all decided that they were NOT coming to the wedding. Even those we gave them nearly a year lead-time. They all decided that it was too expensive (~$400 for airfare and ~$300/night for room + food + entertainment for up to 4 ppl in the room). Oh aside from one uncle who said it wasn’t too expensive, but that he was not going to get his passport to go.
So I spent about 3 days just pissed at my family. Then I became pissed at myself. I had done something that I always hate in other people. I invited them to something they wanted to go to, but couldn’t afford. Much like inviting your minimum wage friend to join you in eating at an expensive restaurant where you’d split the bill.
Mr Woodpecker and I then spent about a month just ignoring making wedding plans.
That is until the past few days. My uncle sent me a message that my cousin is graduating from high school and that ALL of my family is going to Salt Lake City for her graduation. (Mustering all of my emotions to not be offended that they would all agree to going to that but none of them would come to my wedding, and ignoring that I was obviously the last one invited to the graduation and instead focusing on the fact that I was invited…) Mr Woodpecker and I decided that we will just have a reception with my family in Salt Lake City at the same time. The point is to celebrate with family, so who cares if we do this the “traditional way”? Let’s just do this thing OUR way!
At which point we decided, why not just have our wedding dinner at a nice restaurant some evening with our parents and siblings? Just a nice, formal, close family thing. Then the morning after have my in-laws host breakfast for all our friends, extended family in the area. Then in May/June we have the road-trip reception that we both wanted to do when we very first thought about getting married. And our honeymoon? Hello, Cancun!
And the nice part is that we can pay for this whole plan in stages.
The actual wedding at our fancy restaurant Should be about $1500 (going all out here for 8 people) and paid for with some of my overload money. The morning breakfast will be hosted/payed for by my future parents-in-law. Then the road trip reception we will be paid for with the rest of my overload money. The honeymoon? We’ll do that after the debt is paid off and we can save up for it (most likely next December over winter break).
After a month of being an unhappy bride-to-be, thinking she’d never have a wedding that would work for her, it is nice to be happy again. And nice to have a plan that is exciting and fits us. No, there won’t be walking down aisles, or bridesmaids, or even a bouquet. But there will be me and Mr Woodpecker, and the people we’re closest to, and that is all we want. So who cares about garters and aisle markers and candles? I know I don’t. And I think that is what the perfect wedding is to us. Everything we want without all the other stuff we don’t care about.