Wedding Planning Drama

I’ve watched enough movies and television and had enough friends that I know that every wedding plan comes with a little bit of drama. But me, being a relatively drama-free person and my fiance (Mr Woodpecker) definitely being drama-free, I thought maybe we would be immune.

See it all started the night that I got engaged. My grandma called and of course wanted to know what the plans were.

Rather than doing the SMART thing and telling her: “Grandma, we’re still in the deciding phase, I’ll let you know when the plans firm up” I said something like this: “Grandma, we aren’t sure yet, but our tentative plan, that could change at any moment since we just got engaged an hour ago, is to do a small ceremony with just us and then do a road trip reception where we visit everyone. But it could change, that is just the idea right now.”

Well, even with all those qualifiers my grandma heard: “What we are definitely doing is having a wedding and none of the family is invited.” So, of course, she needed to TELL all of my aunts/uncles/etc that they are not invited to my wedding. Which whether they were or were not, wasn’t her place to tell them, it was mine. And the fact of the matter is that whether they are or not has, even of this moment, not been decided as we’re still trying to figure out what we are going to do for our wedding.

AND THEN, perhaps forgetting that she was told this was a tentative plan, started Facebook messaging my fiance telling him how she regrets that my aunts and uncles won’t be at my wedding.

AND NOW I have uncles and aunts messaging me on Facebook saying: “Why aren’t we invited to your wedding?!”

All of this because I was DUMB enough to share one possible idea out of the 10 or so that Mr Woodpecker and I have had in our month of engagement.

So I sent my grandma an email (I tried calling twice to no avail) and (tried) to politely ask her to stop telling people they weren’t invited to my wedding, it is my job to invite or not invite them. And to remind her that the only plan she has heard is the one I made clear on our engagement night was just an idea of the moment, not the “for sure” wedding plan.

And she wonders why I don’t like sharing things with her… every word she hears she shares with everyone else, whether she should or not.


2 Responses to Wedding Planning Drama

  1. Nicole says:

    Elope!! That way everyone is excluded equally. It worked for us… (and you save SO much money).

  2. Caitlin says:

    This sounds too familiar. Once we got engaged we felt like we received too much pressure and “unasked opinions” from my now mother-in-law. It didn’t matter that some of her suggestions were not feasible for my friends or my side of the family (his family and friends are all in the Chicago area while my friends and family are scattered across the world). It finally got to a point that I could not handle the constant comments and the pressure we eloped. I hope you have a better luck handling the drama than I did.

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