April 19, 2011 16 Comments
After the thrill of negotiating my contract, I have found myself in a lull from money depression.
I spent a good portion of the weekend figuring out my debt free date (Aug. 31st, 2012).
In the past calculating my debt free date has excited me and motivated me. WOO HOO! I’ll be DEBT FREE then!
But this time it doesn’t. This time, it depressed me. Another YEAR of this? *sigh*
I felt apathetic and lethargic all weekend. Another YEAR?! I am not quite sure I’ll be able to maintain this. I know I will. I know I’ll HAVE to. But I’m done with this debt. I’m just so ready to move on to the next phase: saving money, building wealth.
Here is what my payoff schedule looks like:
Essentially, the $2,000 payment in August is my money I’ll get for teaching at the community college (this is obviously an approximate). The $477 is what I’m paying now with my reduced furlough budget. The $500 is what I’ll pay when the furlough budget is over. The $900 is what I’ll pay when I’m on my new contract budget before I pay off the 0% interest loan on my bed. The $1,000 is what I’ll pay on my new contract budget after I pay off the 0% interest loan on my bed (pay-off date for the bed is November).
Seeing this schedule just makes me sad. I know the end will come, I just want it now. I would GLADLY live like a pauper if I knew that I’d be able to get out of debt by December. It just isn’t possible (my “pauper budget” has me debt free 3 months sooner, but still way over a year away, and if I can’t get motivated for a year and 4 months, I’m really not going to be motivated for living like a pauper for a year and 1 month!).
I know this is just a lull and as I see that money start to go down, I’ll feel better about all of this. But I definitely want to just start saving for things like a house, a new car, nice vacations, etc. I want to be able to go clothes shopping again. Or even just be able to afford a nice dinner with Mr. Hive every once in a while.
I’ll admit, I’ve started thinking about just paying $200 over my credit card minimum every month once I get my raise and just funneling the rest in to savings. The debt will still get paid off (in two years) but I’ll also be making progress towards my savings goals.
Perhaps financial independence isn’t just getting to no debt, but instead getting to no debt while being able to save for life in the process.
Have I just gone soft on my gazelle like intensity?