I Feel Dirty!

It happened last night.

I was at this Mediterrean restaurant getting dinner before Financial Peace University. I thought I had enough cash to cover my lentil soup and pita and baklava.

The total: $5.34

The amount of money I had in my envelopes: $5.20

I was 14 cents short. FOURTEEN CENTS!!!

The rational thing to do would have been to just canceled the baklava. But he already had it pulled out and boxed and it smelled sooooo good.

So I pulled out my debit card (now I know why I shouldn’t leave it in my purse!)

This was the first time I’ve use my debit card since I started my cash only existence.

I felt so guilty about it. As I handed him the card I felt like I was doing something wrong. I was doing the forbidden by using that card. I didn’t have the money for that meal and I was trying to PRETEND I had the money for it by paying with a card.

I’m angry that I did it. I feel a little dirty. I want to establish good habits – and spending money on food I WANT even though I can’t afford it is not a good habit!

I think I’m just going to leave my debit card in my car rather than my purse. Since I pull money out 4 times a month I was it accessible. But I don’t want it available so that I can just “whip it out” when I want to.

Okay… slip up #1. On the bright side – the meal was delicious!


6 Responses to I Feel Dirty!

  1. Would it help to alleviate your feeling by depositing the $5.20 bank into the bank to cover the cost? I think the real guilt should come if you don’t do it. Sometimes a small slip up happens. Perhaps you’ll also find $0.15 walking around campus today. Then you can put the money back and it will be balanced in your account again.

    I wouldn’t beat yourself too hard about it if you simply put the money back in your account. If you don’t, then go ahead and beat away.

  2. Little Lamb says:

    I had the same thing happen to me getting groceries once. I should of put something back but my pride was there and I pulled out the debt. So I took out my debit card and leave it at home. The only time it takes a ride in the card is twice a month to the bank so I can get my cash for my jars. Now when I think I am close to the amount of cash I have on hand I ask them to tally my purchase before its all scanned. Pride doesn’t win anymore. Being debt free is more important. At least you know what you want and now you know you won’t do it again. 🙂

  3. Kathryn C says:

    whoaa sister cut yourself some slack. Cash only existence is a hard goal ….you seem to be doing just fine, minus your 14 cent slip up. I envy how disciplined you are!

  4. Stephanie says:

    I’m totally impressed by your cash only plan. Even if you did come up short by 15cents. I’m guessing you still carry your debit card around for “real” emergencies, but that makes me wonder if it’s better in your car or in your purse…I guess it depends on how often you’re too far away from your car, but it’s still an emergency.

  5. Exactly what Finding My Way says. Give yourself a break, it was only a 14c difference. Personally I’d much rather have the card in my wallet for times like that than find myself at the supermarket without enough cash. (This happened to me last week at a fabric/craft store where I was buying birthday party supplies, only to discover the birthday girl had been in my wallet and yanked out all my cards. Pretty embarrassing, but needless to say it was her treats that got left behind!)

  6. While 14 cents is 14 cent over a budget (in your case) it’s a small price to pay for an amazing meal. Just think, when you’re debt free, 14 cents wont mater and you wont feel guilty after. Strive to get to that place ,and you’ll end up just fine, and probably more than 14 cents richer.

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