I need help….

I’ve spent the last few weeks doing nothing but fantasizing about leaving my job.

It is so impractical to do so – for more than just monetary reasons. I know that to get a great job in the future I need to be successful in the position I’m in now.

But all I can think about is leaving. I’m miserable at work. I’m miserable in this town. Hell, I’m miserable in this state.

I need to get back to a big city, with people that I know and care about, in a job that doesn’t drain me at the end of the day and makes me want to come back the next.

I just need to GET OUT.

I need encouragement… so I don’t do something really rash and quit and never come back…. because as much as I would LIKE to do that I certainly can’t afford it financially or career-wise.

But there is another voice in the back of my head telling me that you only live once…. so why are you wasting it being miserable?

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22 Responses to I need help….

  1. OMG! I feel the same way. I wish that I had some encouraging words, but I do feel your pain. It is so hard to drag myself to work. I hate a lot of my coworkers and my boss is driving me insane.

    I do hope that one day you and I will end up in close proximity again.

    • SS4BC says:

      Drag is exactly the right word to use Okturn… I literally drag myself in every day. And can’t wait to leave. That is NO WAY to work, especially when I theoretically have a job I enjoy.

  2. Here is what I’ve learned from my first miserable job. When you’re miserable at the place you’re spending at least 40 hours a week, it carries over to all aspects of your life.

    Honestly, my suggestion is to figure out what is making you so unhappy at work and see if you can chage it. If that’s not possible, start making an exit plan. Life is too short to be unhappy.

    • SS4BC says:

      The reason I’m miserable at work is simple:
      1) I hate most of my coworkers
      2) I don’t want to do someone else’s research anymore, I want to do my own
      3) I’ve learned that I love teaching more than I love research, and I want to start doing it full time

  3. Laura says:

    you can stick it out a little longer i know you can! but definitely start planning your escape, but just don’t run out or do anything rash šŸ˜‰

  4. How long do you need to be there to get where you want to be? Figure out your “end date” and focus on that. Lots of really good careers require wretched jobs to start. Pay your dues, move on, and resolve that if you hate the next tier in your career as much as this one, you’ll find something else. Good luck!

    • SS4BC says:

      My fellowship ends July 31st, 2011. However, I can break it if I choose early, I just have to pay back what I’ve received in my fellowship thus far (not financially wise) or get a job as a faculty member at a university (this counts as pay back to the government).

  5. esperanza says:

    I’m done exactly 45 days from today and I’ve been fantasizing all day every day for the past month. I honestly do not know if I will even like my new job but I think the location will make up for it. Make a plan and forge ahead šŸ™‚

    • SS4BC says:

      This is my hope. I HATE where I live. HATE IT. So my hope is that moving back to the west coast will bring me back to a location that I enjoy.

  6. MPP says:

    Aww, I’m so sorry to hear you’re unhappy. I suggest updating your resume right now, start to make a list of what you want in a job (see my five job satisfactions post I wrote about last week!) and then read this article by Brunette on a Budget: http://www.brunetteonabudget.com/2010/03/stand-at-attention.html It may not specifically apply to you, but I think you’ll like it.

  7. Hey, life is too short to be miserable at work. Read 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller. You won’t be a success down the road unless you are successful where you are at now. I promise you that. Read the book and find a job in your strengths and where you want to be then quit.

  8. I understand the money aspect of wanting to stay, but that is your ball-and-chain. You could very well quit your job, go to the city of your dreams, of course, live below your expenses, until you get some income flow. I’m not saying go and quit, but I’m telling you that you can do it.

    But, I just read your reply to The Lost Goat’s comment, and I would say, stick through. I’m not sure how much they gave you, but that will be an unnecessary burden to pay back!

  9. Awww, I’m sorry to hear you’re so unhappy.

    Do you have friends who quasi close that you can take a weekend break with? I find this helps if you know you’ll have to stick it out for another year and half. But if this is affecting your health, then maybe you should consider something more drastic – such as switching jobs. Just make sure you’re aware of the advantages and disadvantages and potential costs associated.

    Good luck!

  10. Life is way too short to spend doing something you hate. Especially living somewhere you hate! You sound like a very smart and very realistic person, so I doubt that you will make any rash decisions.

    You will figure it out, you know what is best for YOU.

    Good luck! šŸ™‚

  11. Gina says:

    Oh man, this sounds exactly like me. I live in a small town in AK, have a boring job I hate, have boring co-workers, but am taking classes in a program I love at the local university, which also has a little place in my heart. I’ve just been spending a lot of time looking for a new job, providing me with the experience I want and need. Oh yeah, did I mention my ex, who just got his new gf pregnant is moving back to town. I seriously need to move. 2 years and counting the days…

  12. SS4BC, my heart goes out to you. My friends and I have been here, but things have turned around ever time. I have had to the opportunity to live in many place ranging from small country towns in the south to big east coast cities. Each and every city had its own unique things to offer to me, no matter how unhappy I was. Over time I learned to make the best of where I was for the time I was there.

    You may or may not be in your fellowship for the next 15 months, but during the time you have I encourage you to get out and create the life that you want (after all you are the only one who can do this). There is so much you can do…volunteer, read books for pleasure, pick up a hobby, participate in local 5K or similar event, be a tourist in your town/city (i know it is cheesy, but it will help get you out of the funk), plan a vacation, attend local festivals, etc. (Google can give you lots of ideas)

    Take pictures along the way to document your journey in your current city.

  13. Fig says:

    I don’t think you will do anything rash. You are too smart for that. But do you really want to spend another 15 months of your life miserable? You really do only live once and life is short. If you can’t quit until you get a teaching position, start looking now. Do whatever you can to speed up that 15 months. And try your best to make the best of the situation. For the second two reasons at least, you can focus on the fact that those will change as soon as you can (even if it’s 15 months away). I’m really sorry it’s so bad.

  14. eemusings says:

    “I know that to get a great job in the future I need to be successful in the position Iā€™m in now”

    What will it take to get to this point? Because it seems like you’re really close to getting what you need from this job, and it would be a shame to move on and have wasted this time.

    that being said, life is short. I would definitely dust off that CV and start thinking about ways I might be able to make a move back out west work.

    • SS4BC says:

      The CV is dusted, as I applied for that job three weeks ago. Everything is “ready to go” so to speak. But the way academic hires work, unless I get the job I applied for 3 weeks ago, I’ll have to wait until Fall 2011 to start a new position.

  15. Pingback: How Academic Hiring Works «

  16. joshuca says:

    It sucks being stuck in a place you hate! I was fed up with grad school starting about 2 years ago…and it has been miserable ever since. Not that I hate my coworkers or even my boss (although he has his moments), but I really discovered that my passion is teaching, and I don’t get to do enough of it here. However, on the positive I am finally graduate in May, but I need a job! I’ve got a few interviews lined up over the next few weeks for teaching gigs…hopefully one of them will pan out! Keep plowing through and hopefully (if you don’t get that job) the time will fly by!

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