Dating Kiss of Death

Now, I know that I said I would move all dating related talk to my dating blog (please comment or email or tweet me if you would like access).

However, not all dating topics are strictly personal and not all money topics are strictly financial. Some times the two work hand in hand.

This past weekend I had a date with Mr Humble.

I won’t go into the details, I’ll save that for the dating blog, however I learned something huge on this date.

People give you signs of their relationship with money status all the time!!!

For instance, Mr Humble will be in a situation where starting next month he gets an extra $550/month.

And what did he casually mention about having this money?

“Now I’ll be able to start paying off debt and maybe get comic books delivered to my door.”

Ummm what?!

This tells me two things:

1) Mr Humble has debt, quite possibly a substantial amount, and even though he is 35 he hasn’t started seriously paying it off

2) Mr Humble has a problem with priorities and his money

Later on during the date he mentioned how his ex got mad at him one time for spending $600 on some electronics. To paraphrase him “But it isn’t like it is that much money or that big of a deal.”

Another two things learned about Mr Humble:

3) Mr Humble thinks that $600 is nothing to spend of electronics, yet $550 extra  a month will suddenly get him out of debt. Wah?! I think someone needs to rethink things here…

4) Mr Humble doesn’t know/hasn’t learned/doesn’t care about money communication in relationships.

I never realized how much people actually reveal about themselves in casual comments that they make. I’m sure he didn’t mean to “out” himself as a financial misfit, but he very well did.

Obviously my monetary situation is perfect, but I’m making leaps and strides to make it better. I’d like to meet someone who either has already accomplished this or is also in process like me. I’m walking towards financial independence and would like someone with me to hold my hand, not pull me back down.

Thanks for the insight Mr Humble.

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16 Responses to Dating Kiss of Death

  1. Beckey says:

    I’d like an invitation to your relationship blog again. beckey76@gmail.com. Thanks!

  2. Lillie says:

    It is interesting how much you learn just by letting other people talk. Too often I am observed as being quiet; however, I am quiet for a reason: I am listening. Eventually the truth comes out and as you said, “thanks for the insight.” Next! Good observations.

  3. Haha! That is awesome! I love these kinds of insights, but I think that I am more of the type of person who gives off all kinds of bad signals and not the type of person who can pick up on these things.

    And yes, I would LOVE an invitation to your dating blog. =)

  4. Jan says:

    I would like an invitation to your dating blog

  5. mkg says:

    i want an invite too 🙂

  6. Gina says:

    Hi! I’ve recently started following your blog. I’m really impressed with the 345 days of no eating out! Also, I’d like to check out your dating blog. Thanks!

  7. Yes, send me that invitation to the blog! Please don’t boot me out again! I promise I’ll comment more there. LOL.

    Do you think you were more aware of his comments because you are reading Getting Financially Naked? I feel like I’m more more aware of BF’s comments towards money (thankfully positive), but I don’t know if I want to think so much about it. Of course, mismanagement of money can be a deal-breaker, but maybe he can be influenced and ultimately change. Am I naive?

  8. MPP says:

    Ooooh stay away from that guy. You need someone who’s more in line with your financial goals for sure. 😉 You better update that dating blog because I want more juicy details about your love life!!

  9. NoRearView says:

    I would also really enjoy being invited to your love life blog!

  10. Chad says:

    You should probably try to pick up guys during a Financial Peace course. They probably aren’t financially fit but at least they are making the right moves. 🙂

  11. Chad says:

    Investing Newbie, women can’t change dudes. We all like big toys. Now the measuring stick needs to be if your man likes to buy big toys with cash or credit. Cash = keep him, Credit = dump him. 🙂

  12. I was just thinking about this the other day when I was comparing BF to exBF. BF is fairing much better ;). I think we are on similar pages regarding how we each see and value money. We can also openly talk about money, which feels really good.

  13. I have seen this situation time and time again. My brother says I read to much into what is said, I disagree.

  14. I think a lot of people tell you things about themselves but just not directly. It’s often that we don’t actually pay closer attention but when we do and deduct things from what they say, we find out tons.

  15. Kira says:

    Man. As I start to think about re-entering the dating world, I really worry about finding someone whose on the same page regarding personal finance. Its good to know you don’t necessarily have to dig to deep to find out someones stance.

    I would love access to your dating blog.

  16. Melinda says:

    Hi I would love access to your other blog

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