October 29, 2009 6 Comments
Growing up my best friend in the world was “Al” – from the second grade through the day we graduated high school we were inseparable. Al had a younger brother who was the same age as my brother. And a few years younger than all of us was her baby sister, Netta.
I have a hard time not thinking of Netta as the 4 year old girl who needs help going to the bathroom while we were the big and tough 3rd graders. However… somewhere along the way she grew up.
She went to college, she got boyfriends, she became an aunt when Al had her first child (and then her second, who is now 2!). Somewhere in all of that Netta became this beautiful, mature twenty-something – however in my mind she is still in junior high, because that was the age she was when I left my hometown some 12 years ago.
And last night she got engaged.
At first I was taken aback – Netta? Engaged?! Is she old enough for that???
And sure enough, she’s only 4 years younger than me – even though in my mind she feels like a child. She’s 25 years old. More than old enough. And her (now) fiance is a fantastic guy. Very sweet, caring, and quite good looking to-boot. I’m wildly happy for her.
But of course, behind every engagement is that twinge of “it isn’t me” – and then realizing that I’m no where even close to being engaged. NO. WHERE. CLOSE.
And it isn’t that I want to be married. Or engaged. Or have kids. Or any of that RIGHT NOW. I just want to believe that there IS someone out there that I could meet (or have met) that I could love enough to want to commit to spending the rest of my life with them – and who loves me enough to do the same. I’ve yet to find someone who could feel that way for me, and me in return. And as the years go by it starts to seem a little bit more impossible.
However – Congrats Netta – I wish you all the happiness in the world!