Personal Space and Freedom (on the web)

I’ve had my Facebook page for quite a while. Not as long as some, longer than others. Probably about 3 years now I’d say. I got it when you had to have a university email address to get an account.

I have really enjoyed using it to contact with old college friends and send messages to my friends in grad school and put up ridiculous pictures of myself. I have my page private – for a reason – I don’t want family and bosses to look at it. I use it strictly for my friends. I ENJOY using it with my friends. I don’t friend people I don’t have a friendship with in real life or that I don’t REALLY want to reconnect with. Yah, I turn down friend’s requests from people that I know, just because I don’t want them to see my page just because they know who my name. Knowing my name and knowing me are two VERY different things.

Two weeks ago one of my cousins friended me. And I didn’t think anything of it. She’s a cool girl so I accepted her request. Then this week, her mom and dad (my aunt and uncle) friend me. They’re cool cats.. so I allow it. Then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. My other uncle friends me. My grandma friends me. My grandma’s brother friends me. My grandma’s brother’s daughter who was good friend’s with my mom but I have only met 4 times friends me.

And now I’m in a pickle. These people aren’t random people who might be mildly offended that I denied them friendship, they’re FAMILY. But I don’t want to friend them. My page is for me. And I don’t want them seeing what I say every day. I don’t want my grandma posting comments on my wall about how I should call her back cause she had called me 6 minutes ago. I don’t want my family life and my friend life merging. I JUST DON’T. I like a place on the internet with my friends where I can be me.

So, I’m in a pickle. I don’t want to friend them but am pretty sure it would cause a HUGE ordeal if I didn’t because they know I’m on there. Ugh… I don’t know what to do here. At least with my uncles I know they’ll behave themselves. I know that my grandma won’t.

Any advice? Please!


6 Responses to Personal Space and Freedom (on the web)

  1. hustler says:

    oooh, that is a situation! I also try to keep my family and friends separate on things like that. I don't know what my friends might say that my grandma would read (if she had the internet). Sorry, I don't know any solutions, but good luck on this! (Maybe Dear Abby!!!)

  2. Anonymous says:

    You can do "limited profile" view for those you want/feel obligated to friend but whom you don't really need seeing everything. I have this set for co-workers and select family members…so they don't see pics, my wall, or status updates (um, I don't think they see those…I use the Twitter for that type of stuff anyway, so it's not a Facebook issue for me). I wouldn't mind if my cousins switched me to a limited profile view, as well…there are things about my family that I don't really need to know.
    Good luck!

  3. SS4BC says:

    @Anonymous – I like the idea of limiting them (at least my grandma) to JUST pictures and sending messages. I can't seem to figure out how to exclude them from posting on my wall. But thanks for suggestion, I think a limited profile is definitely the way to go in this situation. =)

  4. Jessie says:

    I would accept the friends and do up a limited profile to just want you want them to see – really basic stuff!

  5. Bouncing Back says:

    Ohh tough one. My brother just friended me and now wants to "chat" all the time and then gets mad when I don't. Ah, we were never that close to begin with and even less close now. I like my distance.

    Yup, limited profile, that has to be the way to go.

  6. squire says:

    My grown son (now ABD in his studies) had a private account and I would never ask to be his friend as I respect his privacy. We all need places to VENT! Or maybe I just don’t want to know what he might say about his “old man” hehe.

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