Buying a Home

On Friday Cpt Baseball bought a house.

On Saturday I helped him move in and Sunday we got a few things unpacked and set up. No where near what it needs to be, but functioning to watch movies, cook food, take a shower and sleep.

I’m still not sure how I feel about his decision to buy a home.

The home was originally listed at $80k, he purchased it for $68k with the seller paying just about everything in closing. On closing day he wrote a check for $546 – and that was it – he had a house.

He borrowed money from his both his parents (they’re divorced) to supplement what he thought would be a 3% down situation. And that just seemed… wrong to me… I feel like if you’re going to buy a house you should have ON HAND the 3% down (AT LEAST). He has no emergency fund to fall back on either (he uses his parents, at 33 years old, as an emergency fund). He talked to his brother, a financial consultant, who appears to agree with my assessment that he was NOT ready financially to buy a house. He got angry at his brother for this assessment (I’m starting to notice that if someone doesn’t agree with his opinion, he simply gets angry about it rather than considering why they might be disagreeing, this is not a fantastic quality, but not at all the subject of this post).

On the other hand, I can understand WHY he wanted to buy the house.

*He’s 33, so he wants to FEEL like he’s grown-up without having to get married or have kids (obviously, those 3 things are the signs of being a “grown-up”). 😉

*His lease was up, and didn’t want to just “throw away” his money in rent. “Throw away” are his terms not mine, you can find TONS of articles on the internet explaining how renting is not throwing your money away – and for me – renting is a FAR superior option (right now) because I don’t have the time/energy/money for a house. If something goes wrong, I want to just call someone to fix it, and they do – no money required. I also like the freedom to just LEAVE. I don’t have to worry about selling my house or any of that business. When my lease is up, I can be out the door or extend another year. It is a pretty sweet situation.

*The $8,000 tax credit from the government for first time home buyers is pretty enticing. Who WOULDN’T want an extra $8,000? But then, I would suggest that the money get put into the house, remodeling the kitchen or bathroom or something like that. He’s mentioned that he’ll probably use it to pay off debt. I’m not saying that home owners should be debt free, but if Obama gave me $8,000 to buy a house, I’d want to put it INTO the house – like a free bathroom from Obama – thanks Mr. Pres!

*House prices are really good right now. It is definitely a buyers market. You can get a lot for a little and that is fantastic. His max house budget was $100k, and he ended up getting a house he loves for $68k.

I just can’t decide if him purchasing the house now was a good idea. Financially I don’t think he was ready for it, but with the current state of the economy it is a great thing to do.

So, while this isn’t financial in manner, to me the tie breaker is US.

He started looking at houses after we had been dating for 6 months. Too short of a time to be able to object. But him buying the house, to me, sorta means that he has no intention of making this a “long term”, “serious” thing anytime in the near future. I mean, if you’re looking at buying a house in 6 months, and you’ve been dating someone for a two years, you look to buy a house WITH THEM. But we were/are in that ominous place where it was too soon to say anything, but long enough that it was awkward.

And that house will always be his house, lets say when I finish my position here that we decide to move in together. Well, it will be me moving into HIS HOUSE. While I may be able to express an opinion about things in the house, at the end of the day, his vote will win since he owns the place. And I’m sure as hell not going to rent from my boyfriend – that isn’t a partnership.

I guess I always just imagined that someday I would fall in love, get engaged and buy a house with that person – and it would be our first home together. Sure, it is fairy tale, but I want SOMETHING in my relationships to be fairy tale! (Perhaps this is why people pay for elaborate weddings – I would rather have the house) 😉

So, at the end of the day, I’m not HAPPY that he bought the house. But I’m not really expressing that to him because at this point, he owns the house, there is nothing that I can do about that. I explained my hesitancies along the way to him buying it and it didn’t really deter him from wanting to, and yanna, we hadn’t/haven’t been together long enough for me to be able to cast a deciding vote like that. So I can understand why he bought it – I just don’t like it. (But I do love the neighborhood, so very much)

7 Responses to Buying a Home

  1. calquist says:

    In his mind, I bet it is just the opposite. He might look at himself and think "I'm 33 years old and what do I have to show for myself?" I'm sure he is thinking that owning a house would be a way to show you that he can take care of you?

  2. SS4BC says:

    Huh, I never really considered that.I guess I don't really see him as the type of person that would do things to show me that he can take care of me – partially because I don't want a guy who WANTS to take care of me. I can take care of myself, thank you very much. ;)Interesting theory… I like it. =)

  3. myprettypennies says:

    Hm I agree with all of the emotions you expressed, the only big question I have is what kind of house did he buy for only $68k? Is it going to appreciate over time or will it lose value? Is it really a good investment in the right area, etc?

  4. SS4BC says:

    It is actually a great buy. It is the "crappiest" home in the neighborhood – but should be very easy to bring up to the neighborhood value. The comparable houses in the immediate vicinity are all selling for $135-180k. Which is over twice what he bought his for.The reason the house was such a steal is because it was an estate sale and the kids of the older woman who lived in the house simply wanted to get rid of it.As for the neighborhood it is VERY nice and VERY stable. Everyone on the block has lived there for 20-60 years. It is a historic part of town.Honestly, he got a steal on the place, if he'll put in the $20k worth of repairs that need to go into it to put in at the level that the rest of the neighborhood is at.But with the simple $8-10k worth of work he is looking at doing now (redoing the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom), it will easily sell in an upturned economy for $100k.

  5. Nelson says:

    I re-read this post a couple of times before deciding to comment. Something just struck me as wrong, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

    The whole situation kind of gives a giant middle finger towards you, and that's what I don't like about it. I know when I was serious about a girl, every major decision was made with her in mind- what she thought about it, how it would affect her, etc. He doesn't sound like he's very serious about you at all.

    Also, the guy can't even come up with $2040 for a down payment? And he's 33? I think that if you can't come up with the down payment yourself, then you shouldn't be buying.

    Anyway, you should probably take this comment with a grain of salt, since I have never met the guy.

  6. SS4BC says:

    Nelson, the problem is, that I think you're right. In every way.But perhaps that is because I've skewed the post to highlight this?I don't think he should have bought the house. And I don't think that he had me in mind _AT ALL_ when it came to the decision.

  7. Pingback: You shouldn’t buy a house if… « Small Steps for Big Change

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