Success!! (and Failure)

I found out today that I have indeed gotten my grant!! This is fantastic news for me for my future – i.e. it is a very marketable thing to put in my resume.

I am not sure at this point what this will mean for my health insurance, life insurance and retirement that I’m currently getting through my employer. I’ll need to ask the grants services on campus what will happen to these things. I’m pretty sure that my health insurance will still be covered. If the life insurance and retirement aren’t covered anymore I’m going to ask my boss to supplement my salary to cover my ability to continue to have these things. It would be 10% of my income every month (or a little less than $4,000 annually). If all he has to pay for me is $5-6,000/year for me to work for him, I think he will totally be okay with that. I’ll have to find out the details first though.

And now… nothing to do with personal finance…

A year and 5 months ago I moved from beautiful San Diego, California to the Midwest. I left my family (dad and sister) and three of the best friends I’ve ever had in my entire life.

The life of a Post-doc is very transient. I have a 2 year contract, which can be expanded up to 4 years, and then I’m expected to leave my life here and get my “real job”. By design it is a temporary experience. Long enough to prove that you can get something done and then you’re out the door. You move to a new place where you know no one, have no plans on staying long term, and are expected to work long hours, (and if you’re anything like me you’ve been in science for so long that you have very few interpersonal skills).

So what I’m trying to say is, aside from Cpt. Baseball (whom I met on the internest), my only “friends” here are my labmates. I tried making new friends. I started going to this church because they had a very active 20-30s group, and that was okay, but they were all married and our lives just had no real common interest. Then one of them was EXTREMELY rude to me when I gave her a baby gift, and that was it for me. I stopped going.

I take Jack to a LOT of dog events/classes/ dog park, ect trying to make friends this way – yanno – with a common dog interest. However, so far I just know a lot of dog’s names and don’t really know any of their owners.

Tonight I was reminded of how lonely I really am here. I went to pick up a pizza that I ordered (I buy a carry out special that costs $15 with tip and gets me 4 meals, it is a pretty good deal and GREAT pizza). When I walked in I saw the 3 people who are my “closest friends” here in my town sitting there eating pizza together. I made a comment that they should have let me know because I would have joined them and they made some excuse for why they didn’t, but it didn’t matter. I felt so hurt and lonely. Yah, they didn’t have to invite me, but I was still hurt that they didn’t. And this isn’t a isolated experience, this happens ALL THE TIME. I hear stories at work about what happened the night before and have eventually learned to “get over it” (though it still hurts – a lot). But seeing it right in front of me reminded me of how much I miss my friends in San Diego and how lonely I really am.

I suppose if I want to look at this from a financial stand point I’m saving money because I don’t have to go out and get beers or eat dinners out with them.

But I’d rather have friends.

2 thoughts on “Success!! (and Failure)

  1. Just serve your time in the midwest, and then get back to San Diego where you’re true friends are. If nothing else your learning independence. Oh an punch those D-bags that didn’t invite you 🙂

  2. The ultimate goal is in fact to get back to San Diego – and strange as it may seem to those outside of academia – leaving was the only way to accomplish this.

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