This is what happens when you don’t plan.
December 14, 2012 8 Comments
When Mr Woodpecker and I first got engaged we discussed the plans for the wedding. He wanted to get married after we got out of debt (should happen in around 4 months from now). I am totally on board with this plan.
I then brought up how we will save for the wedding expenses. Mr Woodpecker thought pretty strongly that we shouldn’t pay anything for the wedding expenses or save anything for the wedding until after we are out of debt.
While logical in a boy, single minded focus kind of way, it really isn’t practical.
For instance, we are leaving for 2 days next week to go to Vegas, look at venues, and take our engagement photos. All wedding related expenses. And little of it we have the money for since we didn’t start saving anything when we first got engaged.
We ended up paying for the airfare and hotel with money in our checking accounts, but for the engagement photos I had to secure the photographer – which meant a 50% deposit. Which meant money I didn’t have. So where did I turn? The trusty credit card. Money now, pay later.
This lead of course to me shopping for a dress for the engagement pictures – which led to me shopping for a dress for the wedding – which led to me finding the perfect dress. Which led to another $580 on the credit card. So BOOM – almost $800 of progress on the debt destroyed in a matter of a few days.
Then Mr Woodpecker had an emergency expense of $750 that had to be paid the very next day. We used his emergency fund for this. And now I’m just…grrr… angry and annoyed at how easily I slip back in to habits.
But it reminded me very clearly that if there is something that I know I’m going to spend money on THAT’S OKAY. I just need to PLAN for it.
So Mr Woodpecker and I sat down today and discussed it and I told him there was no way I won’t be able to spend money on the wedding until just the month or two before the wedding. That I was going to need to put down deposits and buy invitations and all of that stuff. So I can’t just have no budget. We need to set aside money now, each month, to pay for wedding stuff or I’m going to keep using the card.
He finally saw my point of view on it and we’re going to build our budget for the 15th assuming some money towards the wedding. Initially I’ll probably just use the majority of it to pay off the money I’ve already spent, but I do know that Save the Date cards will be the next big ticket item and perhaps even a down payment on a venue next week.
The wedding stuff is already stressful for me. I don’t like making decisions and feel like I constantly have to. Every day eloping just sounds better and better. Except I really, really, really want a party with all my family and his family together. So might as well make that the wedding, right?
We just got married in October and oh, my goodness, so much planning/decision-making and expenses! Best wishes to you! I read a fabulous book: A Practical Wedding and recommend it to everyone trying to stay sane (and solvent) during wedding planning.
I highly, highly recommend thinking through now what truly matters to you two, what you must have and what you can do without, especially if you don’t have oodles of money waiting to be spent on this wedding. It helps to have a master budget so you can see how it all adds up (predicted and actual expenses). Postage is surprisingly expensive, as are all paper-related items (invitations, Save the Dates, programs, etc.).
Yeah, I totally get the expense of paper-related items. I’m planning on doing save-the-date and invitations as one deal. Then just send emails or quick info sheets later. Maybe tacky, but cheaper!
Thank you for the recommendation of Practical Wedding! I’m going to check it out for sure!
Careful in vegas!! I’m getting married there too, because I thought it would be cheap and easy. It’s a little more of both than I expected. Where are you going to look?
We’re looking at a few places. Bellagio, Venetian, Ceasar’s Palace, Mirage, Flamingo, and… Oh I’m sure there is more and it isn’t coming to me.
The more we think about the better eloping sounds AND the better a backyard wedding sounds, too. =)
I guess my question is, do you really need to secure the venue, date, etc now? Or can this wait too until you guys are done with your debt elimination, especially since it is only 4 months away? Sure, this will mean that it is going to be a longer engagement but having that time will hopefully let you feel less stressed. Just a suggestion.
We did a destination wedding in the Bahamas. Best thing ever, just show up. My MIL threw us a reception party a few weeks after our return. Congratulations! Haven’t stopped by for awhile!
Also do you have to be married so quickly? Maybe just be engaged for awhile?
i concur with some of the other commentators. I understand you guys are in love and everything but consider holding off on the wedding a bit longer. You’ve made great progress on a shared goal of getting out of debt, it’s just within your reach why not pursue it completely?. You mentioned having a party with family is really important to you, sounds like that can be done pretty frugally with a backyard event. It may not even necessitate a delay in your original wedding timeline so that way you get out of debt plus the nice , family centric wedding. Your wedding shouldn’t be the event that sets you back on all the progress made thus far. You dont want to regret delaying your debt payoff because you spent money on a save the date card people are gonna throw out, think about it.